Insomnia??

I like to sneak into my kids rooms every night after we tuck them in to bed. I love to see their little angelic faces as they sleep peacefully, I like to watch their chests rise and fall as they breathe and adore them in their slumber.
I normally do this only once or twice a night but other nights I may check in on them several times throughout the night and early morning hours depending on my sleep schedule.



My kids are excellent sleepers and always have been. It amazes me how they can go so strong and then be out cold within five minutes or less some nights.


I think they must get that from Marc. He can lay down and be out in a matter of minutes. I tell him it's because he works so hard all day that his body goes into shock when he actually relaxes!!! LOL!!! He falls asleep every night while reading a book to Kyle. It is just the most precious site.

I just wish I could fall asleep as easily and stay asleep as well as Marc and the kids do. Lately I haven't been sleeping at all. Now that I need to get as much sleep as I possibly can to rest up before Cali's arrival I have been staring at my ceiling for hours on end. I can not get comfortable in bed, on the couch or anywhere for that matter. Aches and pains are present no matter how comfy I try and make myself. I am visiting my bathroom every hour or less and feel that maybe I should just put a comfy recliner in there with a flat screen tv hanging on the wall. Just camp out there and turn it into my bedroom for awhile. And when I don't sleep I spend my time thinking. I think all kinds of thoughts- some serious and some just down right goofy and pointless. I have been dragging during the day. I am so tired I don't have energy to do anything and my eyes water so much its like I am crying. Everything is bothering me. Today my kids were playing in the living room and they both got to giggling so much that it was contagious. I was laughing at them because they were laughing so hard. It wasn't long before my neighbor was beating on the wall to try and make them be quiet. Apparently she is oblivious to the noise level that her three children project into my apartment. The only difference is that I acknowledge that I live in an apartment and expect some amount of noise. I have thought of how I could address this with my neighbor but she doesn't seem like a person that would take even a pleasant encounter as it was meant to come across so I try and just hush the children when she beats on the wall. Keeping the peace, so to speak. We do our best to keep the kids quiet in the evening as to not disturb our neighbors and their sleep patterns but it breaks my heart when I have to look at my kids at 2:30 in the afternoon and tell them they can't laugh so loud. Oh how I long for a house so my kids can be kids again.

I have been thinking about Cali and when she will make her appearance. Will it be in the middle of the night? Will we have to yank our sleeping children out of their beds and take them to their Aunt's house? Will I have the help I need once I get home? I have been in a dazed fog since my ultrasound and doctor's appointment this past Tuesday. The conversation with my doctor keeps going through my head. Cali is healthy but there are some other issues that are concerning me. My doctor talked like he is really hoping that I will go into labor on my own by this weekend but if not I will see him again Monday when we will "discuss options". I didn't even ask him for an explanation because I knew what he meant. And if I know then what is the point of hearing the words out loud, right? With every itch, pinch or cramp I am praying like crazy that this is it- that Cali is for sure on her way. I had contractions last night for almost two hours and then...they just stopped. Nothing. I cried and cried.

We are down to the 11th hour on the sale of our house- that we have been trying to sell forever- and now it looks as though it may fall through. The bank has been dragging their feet and the buyers may back out. I don't even know what to do.

My walls feel like they are closing in on me. My apartment feels smaller and smaller with every look around. I have been trying to do little things during the day to keep my mind occupied and my hands busy. And to try and keep myself awake until the kids take their nap. And then I try and take a nap when they do and I, once again, am wide awake. Is this some type of pregnancy insomnia? Or is God preparing me for sleepless nights when Cali gets here?? LOL!!

Marc and I are taking the kids to the zoo tomorrow. A family day to enjoy each other and have some fun. Hopefully I can walk myself into labor!! Maybe then I'll be able to get more sleep. :)

Hope you all have a great weekend.

~Heather